Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Porn and the art of 20/20 vision

The Easter bunny was VERY good to me this year…he came hippity hoppity across my lawn with a new high-def satellite dish, and now I'm sitting at home with the remote in my hand watching Food Network in High Definition…it's porn for foodies – everything looks so clear! So wonderful! So decadent! All in glorious 16:9, 1080p! How did I ever watch Ina Garten crush peanuts or see Alton Brown's sock puppets with just plain old, regular tv before? My eyes have been opened! I can see every sprinkle of salt, every glistening piece of bacon, every shiny piece of chocolate in a way that harkens me back to putting on my first pair of glasses. Yes, really.

I'm pretty sure I've been ruined. So forgive me if I start to need more & more alone time, ignoring friends and family, isolating myself from the world, taking meals in my room. I'm having a moment (or a few) with my plasma and the Food Network in HD. I'll be done in a bit..!

Although I imagine real porn in high def must be a bit disturbing…does anyone want to see it THAT clearly? I'm just sayin'…


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